


Memories and Loss

by SpoopyMacaroni



Category: Danganronpa
Genre: A Lot of Death, Angst, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, M/M, Multi, This is going to be sad., and also cuddling, because we love angst, they gon be sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:15:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28127487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoopyMacaroni/pseuds/SpoopyMacaroni
Summary: Kokichi Ouma, the name of someone who lost everything when he woke up in a classroom without any memory of why he was there nor where he was.When a fellow prisoner at the Ultimate Academy For Gifted Juveniles presents a request, his life starts going downhill faster than he could say "Lie".While fighting against the mastermind of the entire killing game, Kokichi makes an interesting discovery in one of the classrooms on the first floor.What could that discovery possibly be?✨Please don't attack me because you came here for Saiouma/Oumasai, this story contains heavy Oumami, but will also include some Saiouma later in the story.The timeline isn't 100% accurate, as I can't exactly memorize all of the game dialogue or time spent.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

Death is a varying consept.

When one speaks of death, they most likely are referring to the moment something stops existing. It's frowned upon. Nobody knows what is the aftermath of death. It's what can and should be referred to as "the unknown". But death also means the moment something is forgotten, left to rust without anyone caring. That was the definition of death. And nobody was able to change that. Death was inevitable. It will always stay that way.

I caught myself from yelping as Kaede and Shuichi walked past me, seemingly caught up in a converstation that had them both exited. They didn't even seem to notice that I was in the room, despite just walking past me from only two feet away, tops. It made me a little upset, but at the same time,it was for the best. Taking the situation we were in, being able to move around without attracting that much attention was a huge plus. Still, the two supposedly "nicest" people in the fifteen others ignoring me hurt a little either way. But I guess it was to be expected, considering how I was acting when the others were around. Lies, lies. Haha. It happened every time. Every single time I had to protect myself, I relied on lying. It confused the opponent, and made escaping easier.

Of course, that didn't help much in this situation. I was just alone in this crappy situation now.

I sighed and started walking towards the dorms, my feet making a faint clacking noise as they hit the ground. The metal parts in my clothing clicked against eachother vaguely in the silence of the late afternoon inside the "End wall". I reached the dorms quickly, and swiflty made my way up the stairs to my room. I closed the door and leaned my full weight against it.

I hate this, i hate this so fucking much. Why did it have to be me? Why? What in the world did I do wrong?

I flinched and rapidly moved away from the door. I looked at it in surprise. Did someone just knock on my door? Wasn't there a doorbell? I was left staring at the door for a brief moment before the knocking occured again. Okay, it wasn't just me, someone did knock on the door. What do I do? Who could possibly be on the other side? Just open the damn door already, stupid.

I reached for the doorknob and swung the door open. For a second I thought someone was pulling a prank on me, but when I looked up, I saw a bunch of green, curly hair and a pair of curious, emerald eyes looking down at me. I tilted my head in surprise.

"Amami-kun?"

I mentally scolded myself.

"Amami-kun!~ What a pleasure to see you! Did you need something, or did you just want to see my pretty face?"

Rantaro smiled, looking a little unsure, and leaned on the doorframe.

"As pretty as your face is, I do actually need you for something. Can I come in?"

I sat on the chair closest to the door as Rantaro sat down on my bed. I swung my legs back and forth, trying to cover up how nervous I was.

"So, what's so important that Amami-kun has to come all the way to my dorm?" I asked, dragging out the o.

Rantaro smiled once again, before leaning forward on the bed and looking more serious. I guess it was a thing he did, the forward lean. I'd seen him do it various times before.

"Ouma-kun, I need you to take everything I say from this point on seriously, okay? Can you do that?"

I tilted my head and nodded. So, he wanted to have a serious talk, huh? It was probably about...

"The mastermind," Rantaro said, finishing my thought.

So, it was as I had expected. The game had a mastermind, and Rantaro wanted to find them. But why come to me?

"Oh yeah, that thing. The one controlling Monokuma, or, whatever. What about it?"

The taller male seemed relived as soon as I expressed that I understood what he meant. He changed his posture so that his back was straight and looked me directly in the eye. I did my best to not look away, a little trick I'd learned over the years.

"We need to catch them and end the killing game that way."

I huffed in made up annoyance.

"What, do you think I'm stupid? Of course we need to find the mastermind, it's like, the most obvious thing in the entire game!"

Rantaro smiled wider than before.

"You're the first one to actually understand what I'm going for."

"Well that's because everyone else has the same IQ as a toaster," i pointed out with a mischievous laughter.

Rantaro lightly chuckled at the comment, now leaning forward on the bed again. Why does he keep looking me in the eye? Does he like the color or something?

"To put it nice and simple, I need your help, Ouma-kun."

I blinked in surprise. Rantaro needed my help? I wasn't expecting anyone to even talk to me.

"You're smarter than you let on. I can see it, simply by observing how you look at everyone and everything," Rantaro stated. "Not to mention your ability to keep things secret. You're the person I need to help me end this killing game."

I bluntly stared at the green haired male in surprise. I had stopped swinging my legs, as I watched how Rantaro turned away from me and started fidgeting with his rings. I'm pretty sure he was missing one.

"If I'm being honest, detecting lies is easier for me than you'd think. Depending on how well I know the person, of course," Rantaro started explaining. "For some reason, your lies are somehow... Easier for me to detect than others. "

I flinched. Oh no.

"Simply put, I know you don't enjoy the thought of this game either."

I looked down at my pale hands. He had known. He had known the whole time.

"...Who did you tell?" I spat.

Rantaro smiled.

"No one."

"How can I trust you?"

"You can't."

"Why are you an avocado?"

"...So is it a deal?"

"Deal."


	2. Chapter 2

Death is simple. If you die, you die. You just simply stop existing, and that's that. Death is simple.

I walked around the academy, my feet making a soft sound as they hit the floor. My head swung from side to side, looking for the smallest hint of the purple-haired leader, as I had only recently figured out something that could be really crucial to our plan so far. I was just about to pass the game room, as suddenly my ears picked up talking. My head turned towards the source of the noise, and as I took a step closer, I could recognize Tsumugi and Kaede inside the game room. The familiar, sharp scent of nail polish hit my nose as I walked towards the two, reminding me of my younger sisters. Tsumugi immediately whipped her head toward me when she heard my footsteps, leaving Kaede to stare at her freshly painted nails in amazement.

"What are you two up to?"

Kaede flinched and nearly fell off her chair when she turned to look at me. Tsumugi simply frowned, I guess I was an uninvited quest so it did make sense.

"Look, Shirogane-chan painted my nails!"

I smiled instinctively, now turning to actually look at her nails. They were nicely done, yes, but with a small touch, they could look much better, and her nails would look longer.

~~~

I quietly hummed the tune of a song that I couldn't remember the name of as I walked around the academy. It's not like I had anything better to do anyway, as the only person willing to spend time with me was Rantaro, but I had no clue where he was. Most likely somewhere hanging out with all the other students, while I was here, alone, walking in the basement because my life is so boring I have nothing else to do. I had been sitting in the library reading books for a while, but then I almost fell off from the top of one of the bookcases and decided to leave. I might not have much to live for, but taking the situation, I would just cause a huge fuss for nothing. Maybe sitting on the top of the bookcase wasn't a good idea in the first place...

As I walked through the basement, I spotted three people in the game room from the corner of my eye, causing my curious side to pop up. I tilted my head towards the room, quietly making my way toward it.

...Oh.

To be honest, I wasn't that surprised when I saw Rantaro painting Kaede's nails as Tsumugi glared at him. He was the friendly type, after all. It wasn't like I hadn't seen him spend time with the others before. Despite the fact, I could barely stop myself from frowning as I saw him holding Kaede's hand, laughing with the blonde. It hurt a little if I was honest. God knows why. I sighed to myself as I turned away from the door. Tsumugi and Kaede would probably be much better company than me anyway, so there was little to no point in intruding. My feet clicking against the flooring, I decided to make my way back upstairs. There wasn't much to do in the basement anyway. I could go annoy someone, probably just the first person I'd run into. Before I knew it, I spotted a familiar astronaut walking out of the dining room. Putting on my best evil grin, I skipped to the taller male.

"Heya Momota-chan~"

Kaito flinched from the sudden talking and turned to me with a pretty annoyed expression.

"What do you want, Ouma?"

"Oh, nothing! I just thought that I should let you know that your shoes are untied!"

Momota looked at his shoes in a confused daze, then turning to look back at me with a pissed-off expression.

"I'm wearing slippers, you dumbass!"

I laughed and kicked Kaito's leg lightly, causing him to growl and move away.

"I know!"

"You really are annoying, you know that?"

I tilted my head slightly. I mean, obviously I knew that.

"Uh, duh!"

"I actually thought the others were exaggerating when speaking of you, but turns out they were being nice!" Kaito yelled at me, causing me to slightly flinch.

The others talked about me?

"Oh well, I'm bored now, so bye!~"

Before I knew it, I was already sprinting away from the taller male, not listening at all as he yelled something after me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kinda short and I’m sorry-


	3. Chapter 3

My steps quickened the closer to the dorms I got. My rapid steps echoed in the empty yard as my feet hit the stone, the sound seeming out of place in the otherwise completely silent yard. My eyes had started to fill with tears, which I quickly wiped away as I ran. I couldn't let anyone see me crying. I pulled the dormitory door open with brute force and started sprinting up the stairs without really paying much attention to my surroundings. Before I knew it, I had bumped right into somebody, and almost fell down the stairs. Luckily, the person catched me at the last second with a firm grip on my waist. Thank goodness, it would've hurt a ton if I had actually fallen.

I shook my head and attempted to clear it as well as I could, turning to look at the person who was still the only thing preventing him from falling. My eyes widened a little as I recongnized the person to be no one else but Rantaro Amami himself. I shook Rantaro's hands away with a huff and stood up on my own, getting a slightly offended look from the other. Why was he offended? Either way, I smiled at Rantaro in a way that was almost genuine. I was actually happy to see him, taking that he was the only person willing to spend time with me, even if it was for the sole purpose of ending the killing game.

"Sorry Rantaro-kun!" I grinned. "I didn't mean to bump into you like that!"

I then plastered a worried look on my face, starting to examine the green haired male in a fuss.

"Are you okay? I would be sooo mad at myself if you got hurt!~"

That wasn't exactly a lie. If Rantaro ever did get hurt because of me, I'd most definitely beat myself up about it, as he was the only person nice enough to spend time with me. Rantaro simply chuckled at my actions, and then grabbed my pale hands but didn't let go of them. He gave me a weird look that made me a bit uneasy, as he was looking straight into my eyes once again.

"I'm alright Ouma-kun. Are you?"

I was a little taken off guard by the question, but gladly he didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. I am the Ultimate Supreme Leader, and Supreme Leaders of Evil don't get hurt!"

Amami chuckled, then averting his eyes away from mine. He brought one of his hands to the back of his neck, leaving my left hand unheld. I frowned theatrically at this, which he seemed to notice but didn't say anything about it. Rantaro smiled a little nervously.

"Are you free at the moment? I have something I'd like to talk about."

I tilted my head, my right hand still in his, as my mouth turned into a grin.

"You betcha! My dorm or yours?"

"...Mine?"

~~~

I was nervous. Why the hell was I nervous? I was just about to tell Kokichi about the moving bookcase, it's nothing to be nervous about. Why was it that the past week I had been so nervous around him? I was almost never nervous, how come Kokichi made me nervous? I shook my head in attempt to clear it, opening the door to my dorm room, Kokichi immediately sprinting inside, looking around curiously. It made me smile. It was kind of cute to see him so curious about such a simple thing as my dorm. Wait. No. Not cute. Amusing. Just amusing.

"So, what did you want to talk about my beloved?~"

I smiled at the shorter male, getting a slight odd feeling from the way he called me. I shrugged it off and did my best to try and focus on the topic I had invited him here to discuss in the first place.

"I found something."

Kokichi tilted his head. He seemed to do that a lot.

"There's something in the library..."

"Oooh, the moving bookcase?" Kokichi interrupted. "That's what you meant, right?"

"You knew about it already?"

The purple haired boy shurgged lightly.

"I almost fell from the top of it today. How come your room is so clean?"

I couldn't help but give him a surprised look. What was he even doing on the top of a bookcase? I simply stared at Kokichi. He didn't really seem to mind, it was as if he'd gotten used to it. I decided to take the opportunity to really take a better look at him, now that he seemed to be distracted.

His skin was pale, almost sickly, and it contrasted his dark, rebecca purple locks that framed his soft features. His hair covered some of his face, but not his pretty, lavender coloured eyes that looked around the room. His white clothing framed his thin body, his checkerboard scarf covering his neck. He looked so fragile... Like you could easily snap him in half. Just like that. My eyes averted to Kokichi's lips. They looked rather soft in my opinion. Now that I thought about it, Kokichi wasn't just pretty, he was beautiful. At least in my eyes.

"Oi, are you listening Amami-kun?"

I shook back to reality. What was that just now?

"Ah! Sorry,I kind off dozed off there... What were you saying again?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.

Kokichi huffed, crossing his arms.

"You, know, if you're going to just stare at me, you could ask first."

I flinched. So he was bothered by me staring.

"And you should ask before looking like that," I muttered, mostly to myself.

Kokichi tilted his head again, smirking. Oh god, he heard me.

"I can't help it, you're fun to mess with!~"

Kokichi grinned widely, almost radiating. I covered my face with my hands. Why is this happening all of the sudden?

"Though, I'm shocked that you would so suddenly point out my beauty!" Kokichi laughed.

I looked at him again. Why was he so goddamn adorable all of the sudden? I growled, my face was heating up for some reason.

"Stop being so fucking cute."

Ouma did nothing but laughed.

"Aw, why should I?"

"You're making me want to kiss you, dumbass."

This made Kokichi freeze. His face started changing to a deep red color, causing me to look down at my hands again, realizing what I'd just said. Why would I even say that? Oh well, I should just... What exactly should I do in this situation?

"I-I'm sorry what?"

"You heard me. Or would you like me to whisper it in your ear instead?"

This made Ouma blush even more, which made me feel a bit more confident in myself and what I was saying. Of course, I still wasn't sure what I was doing exactly. Then again, what's the fun in knowing what's going to happen beforehand?

I slowly started walking towards Kokichi, to which he only reacted to by briefly staring. When I was only a few inches apart from the shorter, I leaned closer to him. Kokichi raised a brow at this. Putting my mouth right next to his ear, I whispered;

"You're making me want to kiss you, dumbass."

Kokichi gulped. His face was red and from what I could tell from under an inch away from his face, it was pretty hot too. Being honest, I was probably not any better. When and why had this turned into flirting? Not that I was complaining. Ti my surprise, Kokichi smiled mischievously.

"Do it, coward. You won't."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Kokichi."

Ouma flinched as I used his first name for the very first time. I took this as an opportunity. Before Kokichi could react, I had pressed my lips against his. The shorter froze from the action, startled. The kiss was short, and ended in me pulling away.

"Ah, sorry. I shouldn't have-" I began to mutter before I was interrupted by Kokichi placing his arms around my neck and tilting his head.

He smirked. It was absolutely adorable. Kokichi softly leaned in and placed his lips against mine once again, closing his eyes. I was caught by surprise, but was pleased to say the very least. I softly moved one of my hands to the back of his head and the other one to his waist while Kokichi placed his hands around my neck. We spent a short while just kissing, both enjoying it significantly and unvilling to stop. Before we would both run out of air, I slowly pulled away from the kiss, opening my eyes to look at Ouma. He was beautiful in my opinion. His cheecks were red, and he was smiling, beaming like a sun or something. I cleared my throat.

"...No homo?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha yes yes Oumami go brrrr


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N  
> This took forever and still it's so short. Sorry about that. Also, Shuichi is going to have a big role in this book, so that's why his point of view will also be in this part.

I cheerfully skipped on my way to the dining hall, my feet making a faint tapping sound every time they hit the ground. I had a wide grin plastered on my face as I hummed a random song that had popped into my head.  
I was in a pretty good mood today. Actually, not just "pretty good", I'd rather say wonderful. My rather odd interaction with Rantaro yesterday had led to a thing and another, and I sure as hell wasn't complaining. The whole kiss thing was a bit unexpected though, so we decided to simply forget it ever even happened for now.  
As I walked in the hallway, I quickly spotted Shuichi making his way into the dining hall as well. I grinned mischievously and sprinted towards the dark-haired detective.

"Good morning, Saihara-chan!" I cooed as I wrapped my arms around Shuichi's neck from behind.  
He yelped in surprise, and instinctively tried to cover his face with his hat. I laughed and tried to hop on his back so he would be giving me a piggyback ride, and nearly even succeeded, but then none other than Kaito showed up and shooed me off of Shuichi.   
I pouted, crossing my arms.

"Momota-chan!! Come on, all I wanted was a piggyback ride, why'd you have to ruin it?"  
Kaito huffed at this, while Shuichi seemed to be anxious about the whole thing. But then again, he seemed to be nervous about anything, basically.  
"If you wanted a piggyback ride, you could've just asked, you know?"  
I stuck my tongue out at him but then proceeded to quickly slap his jacket so that it fell off of one of his shoulders and ran away with a laugh. Kaito yelled after me, pissed off as he loved his jacket.  
Like hell I would ask someone for a piggyback ride, that's weird!

I reached the dining hall in no time, as I had been running. The door shut behind me, and I cheerfully turned to look at who was at the dining hall already. Tenko, Kirumi, Ryoma, and Kaede were all sitting or standing in the dining hall, most of them eating breakfast, while Kirumi simply walked between the kitchen and the dining hall, as she was obviously the one cooking.

"Morning everyone!" I greeted, waving at the other students.  
Some turned to look at me, while Tenko and Ryoma decided to ignore me. I guess that's fine.   
"Morning Ouma-Kun, how are you?"  
I almost flinched in surprise at the question Kaede had suddenly blasted out of nowhere. It was the first time someone had asked me how I was while in this weird situation. It felt... Weird. Weird but... Kinda nice.  
"I'm absolutely wonderful!" I responded, laughing. "And how about you, Akamatsu-san? Ready to murder someone yet?"  
"Wh- No! Of course not!"  
"Aww... That's too bad."

I then heard the dining hall door close and turned to see who had arrived. I smiled widely.  
"Amami-Kun!~"  
Rantaro smiled at me and ruffled my hair.  
"You do know you can just call me Rantaro, right?"  
I smirked at the taller male, wrapping my arms around him.  
"Then you call me Kokichi~"  
The door to the dining hall opened once again, showing the astronaut and the detective arrive. Kaito immediately pointed at me and started yelling.  
"Ouma! What the hell! Don't touch my stuff, you weird gremlin!"

I gasped and put my hand on my chest, gesturing hurt. Tears wallowed in my eyes, which made Rantaro look down at me again.  
"A _gremlin_?"  
The tears were obviously fake, and Rantaro knew me well enough to know that as well, but he wrapped his arms around me tighter nonetheless. I found the surprised look on both Kaito's and Shuichi's face quite amusing and snuggled to Amami's chest.  
"You're so mean..."

"Excuse me, _I'm_ the mean one?!" Momota yelled again.  
Shuichi, who was standing next to him, flinched at the loud noise. Kaede noticed this quickly and rushed over to the detective, making sure he was alright. I stuck my tongue out at the tall astronaut.  
Rantaro, who was still hugging me tightly, glared at him, which surprised not only the others but for me as well. He rarely was mean to anyone, so this made Kaito step back a little from surprise. Amami seemed pleased with his reaction and turned to look back at me, raising his hand to ruffle my hair once again. I pouted as my hair fell onto my face, which made the taller snort.  
"Why are you two so touchy with each other all of the sudden?" Kaede asked, still comforting Shuichi.  
I looked at her with a smirk.  
"Says the one clinging to Saihara-chan~"  
Kaede blushed lightly and looked away.  
"That's not..."  
"Sure it isn't."  
"Ouma-Kun..."  
I flashed a wide grin at Shuichi, who shook his head at my actions.

✨

I couldn't help but keep glancing at Ouma for the rest of the entire time he ate breakfast. This had started to become a rather usual thing by now, and yet I didn't know why. I had never talked to the leader that much, as I spent most of my time with Kaede, and yet I couldn't hide my urge to go and try to figure him out.

Kokichi was an interesting character. He claimed almost all of his words as lies, but sometimes also said actually true things. He spent a lot of his time alone, wandering around the academy doing god knows what, but had recently started talking to Amami much more frequently as well. This confused me, as for what I had deduced, everyone else seemed to want to avoid him or even hate him.   
I, myself, tried my best to keep away from forming such quick and irrational opinions on people, especially when they're someone like Ouma-Kun.  
As confusing as he was, I figured that trying to "solve" him could be quite fun, actually. I would love to be the one to see inside his shell of lies and malice and know how he truly feels. Yeah, yeah, I know, it was a bit cliche, but honestly, do I care? No.

But, if I was being honest, seeing Amami with his arms wrapped around the small, dark-haired leader made me feel weird. I didn't like the feeling, at all. It was like something from the back of my head was screaming and my gut was turning. It was truly unpleasant, and I had no idea what it was nor how I could make it go away.

Amami then leaned closer to Ouma-Kun from his seat next to him and said something, something that I couldn't hear since I was too far away, but I did see the shorter nod enthusiastically in response. Not soon later the green-haired boy got up from his seat, thanked Kirumi for breakfast, and left the dining hall. The screaming in the back of my head disappeared, and my gut stopped turning as well. Thank god, it was starting to become intolerable.

Kaede glanced at me from the seat next to me, but then sighed and turned back to her breakfast. She seemed to do that every time she caught me looking at Kokichi. She'd sigh and then look away. I had no idea what was up with that, but it probably wasn't something I needed to figure out.

Kokichi played with his sandwich, not that excited about eating it apparently but then proceeded to chew what was left of it and drink it down with grape Panta. It was his favorite. He apparently despised the orange flavor.

The leader then jumped up from his seat and left the dining hall, skipping his steps but not before thanking Kirumi, but referring to her as "mom" instead. Tojo-san didn't seem to be bothered by it, which didn't surprise me, as Kokichi had been calling her that for a while now. And, she _was_ the Ultimate maid, so it kind of was a part of her talent as well.

I turned my gaze away from the door and back to my own breakfast. I'd have to finish quickly, as I had things to do.

✨

"Maybe you're the Ultimate Overthinker."  
I snorted.  
"Haha, very funny Kokichi."  
Then dark haired leader smirked jokingly in response to my dry comment.  
"You still laughed though~"

The topic of my talent had been something that bothered me for a long time, ever since we woke up, actually. I had no idea what my talent was, so I could just as well be a talentless nobody. I didn't fit in with everyone else. Especially with the weird "survivor perk" I have.

Apparently, Kokichi had figured this out, because he had started giving dumb suggestions of what my talent could be. So far the top picks were: "lie detector", "chill guy" and "normal person".  
They were kind of funny, and some made me laugh, but it didn't help that I still felt out of place. I could tell the other was trying to cheer me up, but as much as I wanted, it didn't help that much.

Kokichi placed a finger on his chin, and then seemed to have a moment of enlightenment.

"You're the Ultimate Pretty Boy!"

I choked on air and shifted from my spot on the bed. What did he just call me?

"What?"  
Kokichi smiled widely and cupped my face in his hands.  
"Ultimate Pretty Boy it is!~"  
"Wait, 'Kichi?!"  
"No buts! SHSL Pretty Boyy!"  
I sighed, my face was probably redder than Yumeno's hair at this point. To hell with this adorable boy.  
"You're a handful sometimes, you know that?"  
"Damn right I am, mister avocado!"

I looked down at my hands. The shorter seemed to read this as something bigger because he then immediately took his hands away from my face and looked like he was thinking about something really hard. Not surprising, really, as he was really smart, and seemed to ponder a lot of different things every day.  
Kokichi then looked up at me again, gesturing me to look at his lavender colored eyes again. They were really pretty as always, the soft lavender mixing with the black of the iris and the white reflection of the light, which made his eyes look like they had sparkles in them. I was expecting another mischievous grin from the leader, but instead, I got something that looked like a reassuring, kind, and genuine smile. This took me off guard, as it was rare to see the other like this.

"You feel like you don't belong, don't you?"

I flinched at the comment slightly, and it was barely noticeable, but the smaller obviously saw it.

"You want something and somewhere you can belong, right?"

I was now staring at the other male. He was saying exactly what I was thinking, and yet I had no idea where he was going with this.

"How about you join D.I.C.E?"

I scrunched my brows and tilted my head. He'd never said anything about "D.I.C.E" before, but he did talk a lot about his organization... Could that be the name of it?

"What?"

Kokichi smiled warmly and crossed his legs on the bed so he could fully face me.

"You want somewhere to belong, right? If you join D.I.C.E, I can guarantee, you'll finally feel like you belong."

Kokichi's words confused me, but at the same time, they made a lot of sense.

"D.I.C.E accepts anyone and everyone, no matter who they are, as long as they're not bad people. All you need is a scarf, like mine, and possibly a mask in the future, and you're all set! Will you join my organization? If not now, then after we get out of here."

I couldn't help but smile at the dark-haired leader in both surprise and joy.  
Sure, it was something completely new to me, but he was offering a place where I could _belong_. To me, that was all that mattered.

"Sure."  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING!!!⚠️

This chapter includes possibly sensitive topics, such as;

\- panic attacks

\- claustrophobia

\- phono/ligyrophobia

Please read at your own risk!!

✨

I sighed as I sat under a lone tree on the campus, my green hair slightly falling in front of my equally green eyes. I groaned and buried my face in my hands. Why did I develop crushes so goddamn fast? It hurt. I knew that literally, nobody else got crushes this fast. The short leader had by no doubt stolen my heart and was most definitely not ready for that to happen.

I mean, the small boy had been mysterious and honestly quite adorable from the beginning, but the more I spent time with him, the more I found out about his character, and the better I wanted to know him. And that kiss a few days ago?

_Good fucking job Rantaro, you made everything weird. Saying "No homo" after kissing someone you like isn't cool. Grow up, dammit._

I shook my head. This was not the main concern at the moment. The deadline was today evening. If a murder doesn't occur until then, we will all die. I had a plan of sorts figured out, but I hadn't told Kokichi about it. If I did, he would most definitely try to stop me, or when he would insist on coming along. I wasn't going to risk Ouma dying or getting hurt. No way.

I then stood back up, deciding that I should go prepare.

✨

I stared blankly at the gym wall. I wasn't sure how I had ended up there in the first place, and honestly, I couldn't care less at the current moment. The annoying melody that started to make me want to tear off my ears echoed throughout the entire academy and the gym wasn't the best place to be when the noise literally tore my eardrums apart. The noise was much louder in the big gym, echoing loudly. I tried to cover my ears with my hands, but it was no use.

_Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT **STOP IT.**_

Tears stung the corners of my eyes. Why did that damn melody hurt my ears so badly? Why? It was just some stupid melody. Why did it hurt? Supreme leaders aren't supposed to get hurt!

If someone saw me in this state, I'd be fucked.

My brain felt like it was mushed, I left the gym and tried my best to reach my own room. In there I would at least have pillows and blankets to hide under to cover up the ear-piercing sound that desperately tried to be a melody of some sort.

I wobbled all the way to the dorms. As I finally got inside the building, I could clearly see that the dormitory was empty and silent as a tomb of a forgotten man. I didn't really think about it that much, as I quickly made my way up the stairs and to my dorm, still covering my ears from the horrid sound the monitors all over the school made.

I locked my door and then grabbed as many pillows and blankets as I could, now heading for the closet. I swiftly opened the closet door and threw everything I was holding there, then grabbing my monopad and quickly jumping inside the closet. I wrapped the blankets around me and put some under me as well since I didn't know how long I was going to stay here. I placed a few pillows behind my back, then put the rest around me and picked the biggest one for me to hug. I closed the closet door and leaned against the back of the small, dark space. The sound was a lot quieter when in the closet. That was good. Hiding in the closet like this gave me a little deja vu feeling as well, but I shrugged it off as nothing and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm my racing heart.

I felt myself sink into the blankets and pillows, finally relaxing a little. I smiled at the much calmer and quieter atmosphere when suddenly I bolted up from my comfortable position in the very back of the closet.

_Where the hell was Rantaro?_

I felt myself starting to choke slightly as the walls of the dark, now suddenly way too small, closet started falling on me slowly. I couldn't see almost anything in the dark closet, and the only thing I could feel was the cold, hard closet wall against my back and the cloudlike pillows and blankets, sinking me. My ears started to ring, the ear-piercing melody now filling my eardrums once again. I attempted to stand up inside the closet, but my head hit a shelf and I fell back down. I didn't even realize I was crying before I felt my cheeks get stained with tears.

What the hell. Don't do this to me right now, come on-

I felt nothing but the urge to scream, stronger than anything I had felt before. But then, when I actually tried to speak up, it was only a whisper, a whisper that got drowned in the darkness of the closet and the awful sound of the terrible melody.

"I told you... Don't go off... On your own..."


	6. Chapter 6

"The culprit found something else there - the murder weapon. That's right. The shot put ball. They put the cameras as well as the shot in their backpack," Shuichi explained, looking rather depressed.

"Then, on the day the time limit would expire, the day of the murder...the culprit and I collected the modified cameras from Miu and visited the library. Once there, we searched the room for ideal locations to place the cameras. But even then, the culprit was preparing the murder. They began by removing the vent grate, and laid it inside the air duct."

I stared blankly at the podium-like seat I had been assigned for the trial. I was barely listening to what Saihara was saying, as he wrapped up the first murder case one last time. I couldn't care less how the murder was done.

"Then, the moved the pile of books on top of the bookcase, pretending to organize them. After that, they placed open encyclopedias on the final bookcase. It appeared innocuous enough, but it was actually a path for the murder weapon! The culprit also tampered with the hidden camera linked to the security sensor. I was responsible for setting up the other cameras, but that one... I didn't even notice their trick. They used duct tape to keep the flash function on."

All I cared about was the culprits identity. They needed to be punished for what they did.

"After the cameras were set, the culprit and I climbed the stairs to the 1st floor classroom. We kept a lookout for the others and waited for the security sensor to go off. During the stakeout, we saw Kaito and six others go down to the basement. Rantaro was with them..."

Don't you dare say it out loud again.

"The first victim. After watching that group enter the Game Room, I returned to the classroom. With about one hour remaining, the security receiver I was holding went off."

Why do you have to do me like that, Saihara-chan?

"I assumed it was the mastermind, so I ran out of the classroom to the library. I was in such a hurry, I left the culprit behind. Looking back on it now...that was the last chance I had to stop the murder. "

But you didn't. You didn't stop it.

"After I had left, the culprit took the shot put ball out of their backpack...and rolled it into the classroom vent. This set the murder in motion! Rantaro had moved the bookcase, triggering the receiver. "

All I wanted was the culprit punished for what they had done. For taking away the only person that cared about me. For taking away the only person I cared about. Of course Rantaro had went off and done something dumb on his own when I had specifically told him not to.

"Unbeknownst to him, the trap had been sprung. First, the modified camera took a picture of Rantaro with the flash on. Rantaro noticed the flash and approached the bookcase to inspect the camera. The camera flash lured Rantaro directly into the murder weapon's path!"

Everyone was listening to Shuichi with sad and concentrated looks on their faces. Especially Kaede. She seemed happy, but also really sad. It was her own fault, so she could suffer all she could.

"The shot the culprit tossed into the vent rolled through the air duct...came out of the library's vent, and kept rolling atop the bookcase. Opening the vent grate and organizing the books was all to create a path. Under normal circumstances, the victim would have been alerted by the noise...but the promotional video was masking the sound of the shot rolling. The shot kept rolling, then fell on Rantaro's head, killing him instantly."

I understand that this is a class trial for his murder, but do you really have to keep saying it?

"By the time we had entered the room, the murder was complete. I imagine...seeing Rantaro's body, the culprit probably thought... 'The mastermind is dead, the game is over, now we can all go home...' But their wish didn't come true... Because Rantaro wasn't the mastermind! It was murder...in an attempt to save all our lives. That is the truth. That's the truth behind your lies... Kaede Akamatsu, the Ultimate Pianist!"

I swear hate this so much.

✨

I sat down on the floor of my dorm, honestly surprised I even managed to make it this far from the court room. I slowly reached under my checkered scarf, feeling a familiar, metallic necklace brush against my hand as I already felt myself shaking. I wasn't crying - at least not yet - I was too tired to even cry. It was quiet. So quiet, it felt like I was alone. Like there was nobody else on the planet anymore. I had gotten so used to being around Rantaro, that now that he wasn't there, I missed the smallest things he did. I missed his voice. I missed his laugh. I missed the sound of his heartbeat, I missed his hair, his eyes, his sense of humor.

I want Rantaro back.

I was gripping the necklace so thight in my hands, that my knuckles turned white. I eased my grip hesitantly. I didn't want it break, after all. Hesitantly, I pulled my hand away from the necklace, reaching my hand behind my neck instead. I gently removed my scarf, revealing my scratched neck, and the necklace that didn't belong to me, hanging from my neck. I placed the scarf down on the floor.

I held the necklace in my hand once again. It had been all that Rantaro had left of his missing sisters, and now it was all I had left of him. Ironic, huh...

It hurt to hear it. It hurt to see it. It hurt to even think about it. The boy I loved so much and only realized it now, was gone. He was gone, and it was impossible for him to come back. I had said it myself before;

Death was inevitable. It will always stay that way.


End file.
